


Alone

by pikablob



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Episode: s06e13 Together Forever, Gen, Head Injury, Hurt No Comfort, Near Death Experiences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24271528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pikablob/pseuds/pikablob
Summary: The dust quickly settled, revealing the ragged crater he’d blown in the beach sand and the hideous cracks he’d carved into the cliff behind him. In a panic he looked for Connie, only to freeze when he saw her crumpled form lying on edge of it, beside the scattered wreckage of the picnic; she wasn’t moving.Steven makes a mistake, and ends up hurting the one he cares for most.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Recommended Song: [Beautiful Birds](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2RHLZQbZCU)

Steven could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He forced himself to be calm, taking a breath and feeling the salty air filling his lungs. Connie was practically glowing, her face split by a soft smile and her cheeks dusted with a faint blush; this was his moment. Carefully he knelt down on the sand, holding out the glowing bracelet she had given him so long ago.

“S-Steven?” she stammered, taken off-guard. He tried to ignore the uncertainty in her voice.

“Connie,” he said softly, “Will you marry me?”

“What?” She blanched.

“Let’s get married, and live as Stevonnie!” he offered with a smile. But she didn’t return it. She scooted away involuntarily, her face twisting with fear and confusion. Instantly he felt his confidence falter, his face falling; did she not want to live with him?

“What?!” she repeated, before breaking into an uncomfortable nervous laugh. “Steven, maybe we should… talk about this first?”

He stood up, a million doubts suddenly running through his head. He could see the unwillingness in her expression, the lack of understanding, but this was the best for both of them; he just had to convince her.

“I know you think I’m being sentimental,” he stammered out, nearly stumbling over his own words, “But this makes sense! For example; I don’t know what you’ve been studying, but Stevonnie does! We can go to college together!”

Her expression didn’t change. Slowly she stood up, one hand settling over her heart. He blinked nervously; this wasn’t how he’d imagined this going at all. He was sure this was what she would want.

“Steven, come on,” she said nervously, moving her other hand to cover the first, “We’re really young.”

“You don’t want to be Stevonnie with me?” he said quietly. Something cold settled in his stomach at the realisation. He swallowed, feeling a lump form in the back of his throat.

“Of course I do,” she said softly, carefully, “But, I want to be my own person too.”

“Well, yeah, but…” he trailed off, unable to get what he wanted to say out. The pit in his stomach grew, fed by the bitter sting of disappointment. He looked down at the sand, unable to meet her gaze. His hands closed around the ring.

Gingerly Connie started walking towards him, awkwardly stepping over the picnic they had laid out. Gently she reached out, wrapping her arms around him and pulling herself close against him. He could tell she was trying to offer some kind of comfort, but it only made him feel worse. All he could think of was the first look of horror on her face at his suggestion.

“Is- is it a no?” he asked helplessly.

“It’s a not now, Steven,” she replied softly. The warmth in her voice rang hollow.

“B-but if we’re sure that we’re gonna spend our lives together, why not say it now?” He felt her embrace loosen. She stepped back, her hands finding his and gently taking them.

“We’ve got plenty of time,” she reassured, squeezing his hands. “Don’t worry."

“I’m not worried, I’m just…” he paused, glancing down again as he searched for the right words, “Happy to be with you, that’s all.” He hoped she would take that and leave the issue; the last thing he wanted was to add to the stress of all her work with his own issues.

“I’m happy to be with you too,” she replied, a small smile on her face, “It’s just that…” she trailed off, taking a deep breath, and when she spoke again there was a twinge in her voice. “I’m not ready to make that kind of decision yet. I love being Stevonnie, really, but I have my own life too and I don’t know what’s coming or where I’ll be. All I know is where I want to be, and that’s with you, but not just you. You understand, right Steven?”

“Yeah,” he lied, looking down again. She was just trying to be nice; he was sure of it. This was just her way of letting him know she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life with him without upsetting him. He had to be doing something wrong for her to feel that way, right?

“Steven?” She noticed his change in demeanour, the smile fading from her face. “What’s really going on?” He froze.

“N-nothing,” he stammered out.

“Steven-”

“I’m fine!” he insisted, his hands squirming out of her grip. He could feel sweat starting to form on his forehead; when had the evening become this hot?

“No, you aren’t. This,” -she gestured down at the picnic- “This isn’t like you, and I’m really worried.”

“Don’t be.” He stepped back, feeling panic rise into his throat. “There’s nothing going on, really.” His voice cracked. He stepped back again, suddenly feeling very aware of the cliff looming above him. She stepped forwards, her hands suddenly back over her chest.

“Steven, we’re friends,” she said hurriedly, “More, even. Whatever’s bothering you, I want to understand; I can help, but you need to let me.”

“No you can’t!” He didn’t mean to shout. She flinched.

“What do you mean?” Her voice quavered. He felt his facade crack.

“You wouldn’t understand,” he said, his voice suddenly thick with pain. “You have friends and a perfect loving family and a future all planned out and nothing to worry about! I don’t have any of that; there’s nobody who gets it!” She froze; he realised a moment too late that he had struck a nerve. Her hands fell to her sides, balling into fists.

“Do your dad and the gems just not matter, then?” she pressed. “Steven, before I met you I didn’t have anyone, remember? And I don’t know how my future’s going to turn out; I worry about it all the time. You think I enjoy studying all the time, like I used to when we were kids?” She swallowed hard; he could see her eyes water, shimmering in the fading light. Her voice was guarded when she spoke again. “I spent three years wanting to run away from home before I met you.”

Steven felt his blood turn to ice. This wasn’t what he had wanted; his own issues were only hurting her more. He blinked, looking down, only to see his hands had turned pink. It felt like a million emotions were running through his head at once, all fighting for dominance. He tried to take a deep breath, to calm himself, but instead his breaths came quick and ragged.

“Steven?” she asked, suddenly alarmed.

“Go away,” he rebuffed, looking down, “Leave me alone.”

“Steven, I’m sorry,” she stammered out, suddenly stumbling towards him. He tried to step back, to get away from her, but there was nowhere left to go. “I didn’t mean to-”

“I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!”

The sand all around him exploded, filling the air. He saw Connie fly back, disappearing into the haze. From somewhere behind there was a hideous cracking sound. His own ears rang.

He felt the pink drain from his body. The dust quickly settled, revealing the ragged crater he’d blown in the beach sand and the hideous cracks he’d carved into the cliff behind him. In a panic he looked for Connie, only to freeze when he saw her crumpled form lying on edge of it, beside the scattered wreckage of the picnic; she wasn’t moving.

“Connie!” His feet were moving before the word even left his mouth. He stumbled over, feeling a hideous surge of blind panic, and fell to his knees beside where she lay. Tears began to blur his vision even as he looked her over.

He felt a faint pang of relief as he realised she was still faintly breathing, her chest rising and falling erratically. Her eyes were open; she was staring vacantly at the sky, one pupil larger than the other, and beneath her head the sand was stained with splotchy crimson.

“No no no no no!” Frantic desperation overtook him. He didn’t bother with his shaking hands, leaning straight down to repeatedly kiss her forehead in the hope of healing something. His tears fell freely, mingling with the saliva he left behind; both began to sparkle as he leant back, and slowly her eyes closed and her breaths grew steady.

He rubbed at his eyes, trying to clear his vision, but the tears wouldn’t stop. All he could think about was how this was his fault, how his failure to control his powers had nearly killed her. He had no idea what he was doing or how badly hurt she was and adrenaline still surged through his body.

A groan from beside him snapped him from his thoughts. He looked over to see Connie trying to sit up, wincing in pain and clutching at the side of her head. He wiped his eyes again, feeling a surge of relief.

“Let me help you!” He reached over, carefully taking her hands and awkwardly standing up with her.

“What happened?” she asked weakly, rubbing her left temple. He paused; he wasn’t sure he could explain, not really. How was he supposed to tell her he’d nearly killed her?

“Wait,” she suddenly spoke again, “I… you…” He could practically see the realisation dawning on her face as the memories came back. He stepped back, not sure what to expect. She looked over at him, her gaze freezing him mid-step, and he felt a stab of guilt as he saw fear dawning in her eyes.

The realisation settled like ice in his gut. Connie, the girl who he’d seen face down corrupted gems and forced fusions and diamonds without fear, was afraid of him. Because he was the one out of all of those that had come closest to ending her life.

“Connie, I-” he stammered out. She stepped back, half turning away.

“I have to go,” she said quickly, her voice thin and weak. Before he could protest she was already hurrying away.

“Connie, wait!” he pleaded. “Please! I can explain!” She paused, glancing back, then turned and ran for the boardwalk, still clearly in pain. He watched her go helplessly, refusing to let himself follow. Finally he felt his legs give way, and he fell back to his knees.

Looking down, something in the sand caught his eye; he crawled over, too exhausted to get back up. There, half-buried in the edge of the crater where he’d dropped it, was a broken orange glow bracelet. He picked it up, gently cradling the ruined thing, and let out an ugly choked sob. He broke down, overwhelmed by it all, and cried alone.


End file.
